ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Less talking, more tequila
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
