You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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