He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
