i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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