I wish life had little blips of pornography
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
