Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
