do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
