dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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