I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Randomize
