margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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