so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
