Umm I'm too high to move.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize