just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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