i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize