I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
