Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
