her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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