he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
