butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
North Korea, Best Korea!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
