1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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