fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
