We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize