My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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