She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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