Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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