I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
