so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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