How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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