All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
