I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
