So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
