hell yes lets make some ravioli
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
