Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
