...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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