I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
