it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
