I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am available for nakedness
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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