just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
