If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
