I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
