I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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