His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
