All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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