got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
