Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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