Slut skills are useful in every country.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize