Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
