Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize