She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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