who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
