my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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