you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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