i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
