it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
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Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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