I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
