The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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