Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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