So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She's JV to your varsity
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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