the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
