As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We smell like vodka and hangover
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