im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
