If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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