No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
