xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
