DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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