I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think I won the penis lottery.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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