i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
