if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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