Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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